Take It Easy!

I don’t know about you, but I can be really hard on myself sometimes. I set absolutely unrealistic goals, and then I get upset when I don’t reach them. It’s completely ridiculous! I had one of those moments this morning until I made myself really think about it logically. After that I was actually feeling pretty good about myself!

I’m on day 14 of my second Whole30. I’ve made it 2 whole weeks, and I’ve got willpower up the wazoo to make it the full 30 days. I woke up this morning feeling awesome! I looked in the mirror, and instead of the usual picking and poking and focusing on my trouble spots, I thought I looked pretty good. Then I stepped on the scale… Because I was feeling so hot and light and thin, I was expecting a number that was reflective of my mood. It wasn’t. Don’t get me wrong, it was an awesome number! I am at my lowest weight since my junior year of college back in 2007, but it wasn’t the number I was expecting and hoping for.

I felt pretty down about it all morning until I really stopped to think about it. I started my first Whole30 on September 29, and since that day, I’m down 22 lbs! That’s 12 lbs from the first one and 10 lbs from the second at only 2 weeks in! That means that I’ve lost 22 lbs in 2 months which is really great progress, so it’s completely ridiculous that I was upset this morning that I wasn’t down more than I am. Also, I mentioned in a previous post that I had to go down a pant size the last time I bought pants, and well… they’re starting to get big on me!

These ridiculous high standards have got to go! Especially because they’re based on numbers that tell me nothing more than my gravitational pull… My weight does not indicate how healthy I am or what kind of person I am. I am not the number on the scale. I’m getting healthy, and I’m feeling amazing. That’s what I should really be holding myself to. I’m honestly getting to the point where I’d really just like to get rid of my scale altogether. Unfortunately because of the 6 month Diet Bet I’m in, I won’t be able to until May, but at that point… I’m thinking it’s gone, or at the very least hidden away in my closet so I’m not tempted to pull it out all the time.

So back to my second Whole30! As I said above, I’m on day 14!!! That little mental shift I had a couple weeks ago was exactly what I needed to kick my butt back into gear. It’s not about losing weight. It’s about my health, and making my body feel good by fueling it with good foods. The weight loss is just a natural side effect of fueling my body the right way. (It sure is awesome though! 😉 )

In full disclosure, I’ve been slightly more lax on this Whole30 than I was on the first one, but I really don’t think it’s going to do too much. I’ve had a little bit of sugar here and there because it was in foods that I was using for cooking, but honestly, I’m ok with that because I don’t really feel my sugar dragon breathing down my neck anymore, and it was in such low quantities that it really wasn’t going to do much anyway. The little bit of sugar that I’ve had has not led me running into my kitchen for the Reese’s trees I have hidden in my cupboard. (I think that alone speaks volumes to how far I’ve come. I have some Reese’s in my cupboard… I’m well aware they’re in there, but I haven’t been tempted once to break into them before my 30 days are up.)

I am feeling really good this go around. Now that I’ve figured out that I can’t eat eggs, my stomach is feeling mostly back to normal! I’m eating only until I’m full, and I’m not ravenously hungry between meals. It’s weird because I’ve tried the whole “listen to your body’s cues. When you feel full, stop,” thing before, but I always felt like a failure because I could never figure out when I was full. I know now that it’s because I was never getting the proper cues because the types of foods I was eating were blocking them. Crazy how that works…

Well, tomorrow is Thanksgiving, and I’m planning to stay strong! I’m making a couple of sides that I know I’ll be able to eat, and my dad is making the turkey and ham in a way that I can eat it. I was a little sad that I wouldn’t be getting all the traditional favorites that I usually enjoy, but honestly, I think I’ll be happy to not be walking around uncomfortably full all day! And, if I really, really want the turkey dinner with all the fixings, I can always get one somewhere when my 30 days are up. I really doubt I will though.

Happy Thanksgiving!

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Jumping Off the Wagon

As you may have gleaned from the title, I have been in a bit of a rut lately. Ever since my allowed “worth it meal” on day 31 of my first Whole30, I’ve been completely derailed. I had my worth it meal, but I told myself it was not going to mean I was done eating clean. The next day, I had every intention of starting back up, and then there were cookies… (or something… I’m not really sure what the exact trigger food was anymore.) And my brain said, what’s the harm in having one little treat? You’ve been so good for the last 30 days! You deserve a little something, and besides, it’s not like having the one treat is going to completely do you in.

I had the treat and swore I was going back to clean eating. I did… until another treat came along. Then at that point my reasoning was well… the new month starts in a couple days, might as well just start then. November has 30 days, so it’s pretty much a sign! The problem was on November 1 I was in Milwaukee with my boyfriend for a “special day,” and on “special days” we should allow ourselves to enjoy! And enjoy I did!

Oh well, I thought. I will start tomorrow. And then tomorrow happened, and I hadn’t gone to the grocery store, so I didn’t have any food to cook. Again, I thought it’s not a big deal; tomorrow is a good day to start. I did pretty well sticking to Whole30 for Nov 3-7, but then on Nov 8, I was with the boyfriend again, and I didn’t plan ahead. I didn’t eat anything until about 2, by which point I was hangry! We went to a steakhouse, and begrudgingly I remained compliant, the whole time judging my bf jealously while he enjoyed his fresh baked crusty bread, bowl of hearty chowder, slathered BBQ ribs, and French fries. All the things I was dying to have on the cold and blustery day!

A few hours later, I was hungry again, and I was at the point where I just didn’t care what I ate as long as some food entered my belly as quickly as possible. The bf had some chips, and we ordered a pizza. I decided to not let myself feel guilty over it because stuff happens. I had planned poorly, and this was the consequence. That just meant that I was back at it the next day. Except the next day I woke up around 8 when the bf came back from his short morning shift. He was tired, so I let him sleep for a couple hours. I was ridiculously hungry, and being that I wasn’t in my house, I didn’t really have any compliant foods available, so I went for the leftover pizza. Well of course the day was just ruined after that (*sarcasm*), so when the bf woke up, we went for pancakes. Then for dinner we had subs…

Then every day this week, I’ve told myself that I’m starting my Whole30, and today is the day! Absolutely no excuses, here we go! Every day I’ve packed healthy, Whole30 compliant meals for breakfast and lunch, and I felt great! Then I’d get done with work, and all my resolve was completely gone. There was always something that justified me buying a candy bar or chips or pizza…

I’m guessing my lack of motivation for the second go around has to do with the fact that my focus has changed since my first one. On my first Whole30, I was all about the health aspect. I read “It Starts With Food,” by Melissa and Dallas Hartwig, the creators of Whole30 and Whole9 Life, and it made so much sense! I had been eating junk for years, completely messing up my body to the point where I became significantly overweight, have bad acne, asthma, sinus problems, digestive issues, and aches throughout my whole body, and most of the problem is likely due to what I was eating.

During my first Whole30, most of my headaches, body aches, acne, stomach issues, etc. went away, and I felt amazing! I was focusing on my health by eating the right foods, and as a bonus, I lost 12 lbs and a couple inches. The weight loss was awesome, but it wasn’t, and shouldn’t have been, the focus. When I started, my intent was to correct the years of damage I’ve done to myself and to finally feel well. After I was done, however, I saw the weight loss results and I got greedy. I wanted more! I saw how much I had dropped in a short period of time and felt confident I could do it again.

Right around the end of my first Whole30, I came across Diet Bet, which, if you haven’t heard of it, is a site that is supposed to help encourage you to lose weight by putting down money into a pot that is split by anyone from the group that meets the goal. Riding the high and confidence boost I felt after completing my first Whole30, I decided that I could easily make a couple bucks off of something I was doing anyway, and I joined a couple of them-a 1 month and a 6 month bet.

Well, wouldn’t you know that as soon as my focus became all about losing weight instead of my health, it didn’t seem as important. Of course I’d like to lose weight, who wouldn’t? But personally, it’s just not that big of a motivator to me. For me, the weight loss is all about looks, and you may disagree, but I think I look pretty good the way I am. I could look better, I’m sure, but I’m happy enough with the way I look right now that it’s just not enough for me to want to give up all the good tasting junk that I’m used to eating. Even the money hasn’t been enough of a motivator to get myself back to eating right!

I’ve tried losing weight more times than I can count, but it has never really worked. I’ve had some success on a few plans, but I’ve always regained the weight, usually also carrying a few more lbs along for the ride. I’ve lost significant amounts of weight 3 times in my life, and every time it was when I focused on eating healthy foods and exercising because I knew it was good for my body.

So anyway, I guess to sum it all up, I’m shifting my focus back onto my health-moving more and eating good, whole foods because it’s what my body needs. To jump start myself back onto the right path, today is really and truly day 1 of my second Whole30, and I’m bound and determined to see it through all 30 days. I’m putting it out there in hopes that it will help me get through the first few days and not go back on it! I’m sure I’ll lose a few more lbs, but I really would like my health back.


UPDATE: I wrote this post on Friday and completely forgot to hit publish! But I am proud to say I made it through my weekend fully committed and am now on day 4 of my second Whole30! I feel so much renewed vigor with this one that I feel very confident I’ll make it the full 30 days. 🙂 I even resisted a heaping plate of fries smothered in cheese, bacon and ranch when we went out for dinner on Saturday night. It was sitting right in front of me the whole time, and it smelled absolutely sinfully good, but I didn’t cave! 🙂

 

Confession Time…

Alright, so here’s the deal… I need to get a couple things off my chest. What I’m about to tell you might be a little shocking, but bear with me… ready? Alright… here it goes… I hate going to the gym. Whew! There, I feel so much better now. Lol. All joking aside, I really have come to this realization that I just do not like going to the gym. I will do any and everything I can to make excuses to not go. Don’t get me wrong. I actually enjoy working out, but I have total gymtimidation. I feel like an idiot when I’m there because even though I really do know what I’m doing (for the most part), I just get up in my head convincing myself that other people are judging me. I realize this is ridiculous, and no one is probably even paying any attention to me, but I get so stressed out that I really think the negatives from the stress outweigh the positives of my workout!

As I said, I really do enjoy working out… (once I kick myself in the butt to do it, of course!) I’ve just come to the realization that I enjoy home based workouts much more than going to the gym. I love, love, love Pilates, yoga, cardio dance, toning workouts… you name it. If I can do it at my house with some handweights or other minimal equipment, I enjoy doing it. I think I would enjoy group workout classes too, but they just tend to be so expensive. I feel like I really can’t justify the cost of going to a group class when I can get the exact same type of workout for free at home. (Thanks youTube!)

So all that said… I’m giving up the gym for now and focusing on doing my workouts at home. I find the best way to keep yourself motivated is by finding something you enjoy doing, so it doesn’t feel like a chore but rather something you look forward to! I’m not quite at the looking forward to it stage, but I know that I’m much more likely to stick to daily workouts if I don’t try to make myself go to the gym, and that’s ok. Who knows? I might end up changing my mind again later and decide that I want to go to the gym again, and that’s ok too! All that really matters is that I’m doing something.

My second confession/realization is kind of in line with the first one… I don’t know why I keep trying to make myself be a runner… I just don’t enjoy it. I have exercise induced asthma, so when I run, my lungs feel like they’re pretty much useless. It’s weird because I can do a lot of other strenuous activity without an issue, but once I start running… it’s all over.

My goal for this year was to run a 5k a month and get faster with every race, but then I signed up for the Susan G Komen 3 Day Walk for the Cure, and I shifted my focus to walking long distance instead of running. My plan was to switch over my 5k goal to next year, but now that the end of the year is coming up pretty quickly, it’s just not something I want to do anymore. I’ve tried to get back into running a few times since the walk ended, but, again, it’s something I dread rather than look forward to. A part of me still really would like to be a runner, so this is one goal I will probably try to make happen a different time, but for right now, I’m just not going to force it.

My third confession for the night has to do with my diet… I had mentioned a couple different times that I was going to keep my Whole30 going until Thanksgiving, and then I gave in on day 31 and had some off plan foods. My new plan was to get right back into it the next day, but that also ended up not happening. I was on a major carb bender, and I decided I was going to start fresh on November 1 and commit to a whole 30 days instead of stopping on Thanksgiving. Well, November 1st I was on a little weekend trip to Milwaukee with the boy, and I really didn’t feel like trying to be compliant on our fun day, so I pushed it back another day. November 2 came, and I didn’t have any compliant food in my house because I usually go shopping on Friday nights, but because we were in Milwaukee, I obviously couldn’t go. I ended up pushing it back one more day, but this time I told myself that was absolutely the last day, and I was going to start the next day no matter what!

Well, long story short… I did, and today is day 3 of my second Whole30! I’m hoping this go around I really get the results I was hoping for with the first one. Sadly, I’m thinking that I’ve done so much damage to my insides with the crap I’ve been eating for so long that it’s going to take more than a Whole30 to make it happen. If I don’t get the results I want with this Whole30, I’m going to give a Whole60 a try probably at the beginning of next year.

I’m not going to bore you with the details of my daily diet for this Whole30 because it will probably be pretty much the same things as my last Whole30, but if I make a new recipe, and it turns out awesome, I’ll definitely let you know!

Tonight I made some coconut chicken nuggets which smell amazing but unfortunately tasted a bit meh… I used a pound of boneless, skinless chicken breasts cut up into nugget sized pieces. I tossed them in a bag with some coconut flour and tossed them to coat. I then dunked them into some eggs followed by a coating of unsweetened coconut flakes mixed with a fiesta lime seasoning blend. They were then put on a lined baking sheet and into the oven for 10 minutes. After 10 minutes I flipped them and let them cook another 15.

Coconut Chicken Nuggets

If only you had smell-o-vision!

As I said they smelled amazing! However, I would tweak my recipe just a bit… Next time I will marinade the chicken breasts to give them a little moisture and some added flavor. I’m thinking maybe a coconut milk/lime/chili pepper sauce… Second, I forgot to grease the pan, so half the coating came off of some of them! Next time, I’ll spray a little oil on the foil before putting the chicken on it. Third, it needed some sort of sauce… Possibly a tangy pineapple sauce of some sort…