I don’t know about you, but I can be really hard on myself sometimes. I set absolutely unrealistic goals, and then I get upset when I don’t reach them. It’s completely ridiculous! I had one of those moments this morning until I made myself really think about it logically. After that I was actually feeling pretty good about myself!
I’m on day 14 of my second Whole30. I’ve made it 2 whole weeks, and I’ve got willpower up the wazoo to make it the full 30 days. I woke up this morning feeling awesome! I looked in the mirror, and instead of the usual picking and poking and focusing on my trouble spots, I thought I looked pretty good. Then I stepped on the scale… Because I was feeling so hot and light and thin, I was expecting a number that was reflective of my mood. It wasn’t. Don’t get me wrong, it was an awesome number! I am at my lowest weight since my junior year of college back in 2007, but it wasn’t the number I was expecting and hoping for.
I felt pretty down about it all morning until I really stopped to think about it. I started my first Whole30 on September 29, and since that day, I’m down 22 lbs! That’s 12 lbs from the first one and 10 lbs from the second at only 2 weeks in! That means that I’ve lost 22 lbs in 2 months which is really great progress, so it’s completely ridiculous that I was upset this morning that I wasn’t down more than I am. Also, I mentioned in a previous post that I had to go down a pant size the last time I bought pants, and well… they’re starting to get big on me!
These ridiculous high standards have got to go! Especially because they’re based on numbers that tell me nothing more than my gravitational pull… My weight does not indicate how healthy I am or what kind of person I am. I am not the number on the scale. I’m getting healthy, and I’m feeling amazing. That’s what I should really be holding myself to. I’m honestly getting to the point where I’d really just like to get rid of my scale altogether. Unfortunately because of the 6 month Diet Bet I’m in, I won’t be able to until May, but at that point… I’m thinking it’s gone, or at the very least hidden away in my closet so I’m not tempted to pull it out all the time.
So back to my second Whole30! As I said above, I’m on day 14!!! That little mental shift I had a couple weeks ago was exactly what I needed to kick my butt back into gear. It’s not about losing weight. It’s about my health, and making my body feel good by fueling it with good foods. The weight loss is just a natural side effect of fueling my body the right way. (It sure is awesome though! 😉 )
In full disclosure, I’ve been slightly more lax on this Whole30 than I was on the first one, but I really don’t think it’s going to do too much. I’ve had a little bit of sugar here and there because it was in foods that I was using for cooking, but honestly, I’m ok with that because I don’t really feel my sugar dragon breathing down my neck anymore, and it was in such low quantities that it really wasn’t going to do much anyway. The little bit of sugar that I’ve had has not led me running into my kitchen for the Reese’s trees I have hidden in my cupboard. (I think that alone speaks volumes to how far I’ve come. I have some Reese’s in my cupboard… I’m well aware they’re in there, but I haven’t been tempted once to break into them before my 30 days are up.)
I am feeling really good this go around. Now that I’ve figured out that I can’t eat eggs, my stomach is feeling mostly back to normal! I’m eating only until I’m full, and I’m not ravenously hungry between meals. It’s weird because I’ve tried the whole “listen to your body’s cues. When you feel full, stop,” thing before, but I always felt like a failure because I could never figure out when I was full. I know now that it’s because I was never getting the proper cues because the types of foods I was eating were blocking them. Crazy how that works…
Well, tomorrow is Thanksgiving, and I’m planning to stay strong! I’m making a couple of sides that I know I’ll be able to eat, and my dad is making the turkey and ham in a way that I can eat it. I was a little sad that I wouldn’t be getting all the traditional favorites that I usually enjoy, but honestly, I think I’ll be happy to not be walking around uncomfortably full all day! And, if I really, really want the turkey dinner with all the fixings, I can always get one somewhere when my 30 days are up. I really doubt I will though.