Hey there, I know it’s been a reaaaaally long time since my last post-about 4 1/2 months, but who’s counting? 😉 Well, all I can really say is life got crazy, I got lazy, and I felt like I was spiraling out of control. I know in my last post I mentioned I was going to turn things around, and I did… for about a week. Then I was right back into my old habits. It’s really hard for me to admit, but right now I’m 10 lbs heavier than my previous heaviest weight-a weight I swore I would never get back to. Well, obviously, I did. And then some.
Now here’s where I could beat myself up, tell myself how much of a loser I am for getting back here, but what’s the point in that? I screwed up. I made a long series of mistakes. Am I happy about where I am right now? Absolutely not! But what is it going to accomplish if I dwell on my failure? Absolutely nothing! It took me a while, but I’m finally to that point where I’ve had enough. None of my clothes fit me anymore, I’m tired all the time, I feel like crap, and frankly I’m just really unhappy.
A couple months ago, I signed up for Weight Watchers again, and I lost about 5 lbs on it in the first 2 weeks. I was really excited about my progress, but then I fell off the wagon, and gained it right back. I tried really hard to reign myself in, but I have a sugar demon raging inside me, and I found it really hard to keep within my daily points allotment when I was allowing myself to continue to have treats. Even if I planned ahead and counted the points, I would always go overboard. So I finally made the decision that I needed to do another Whole30+ to get rid of my cravings.
That brings me to this weekend. I decided I was going to do a November Whole30 and start it right away on November 1. Well… we ended up not going to the grocery store, so I didn’t have any Whole30 foods for day 1. I wasn’t really too worried about it though because I figured I’d just start the next day. I didn’t really have my plan in place anyway, so day 1 would really have just been winging it. Anyway, on Sunday, I sat down and got my meal plan together and went grocery shopping, so I was all set for the week ahead.
Then yesterday, I had a really off morning. I didn’t sleep very well the previous night, so I slept in a little, and my whole morning routine got thrown off. I had a meal in my crockpot in the fridge just waiting to go into the base and cook away for my delicious dinner that evening, and of course… I forgot it in the fridge! Luckily, my sister was still home, so I called her, and she was able to get it going for me. After hanging up with her, I remembered another thing I had forgotten that morning… my breakfast and lunch for the day! I tried rolling with it at first and got some eggs from the caterer for breakfast, and I was planning on getting a salad with some grilled chicken from somewhere for lunch, but 2 eggs was not enough of a meal, and I was starving by 10:30. I didn’t think I’d make it until lunch, and by that point, I was not making good choices, so I went to the vending machine and got a Pop-Tart.
I was a little upset with myself that I couldn’t even make it the first day, but, honestly, I got over it pretty quickly. I was already having a bad morning, so I tried not to beat myself up too much. Luckily it was only day 1, and I had already delayed my start date, so one more day was not the end of the world.
That brings me to today, and I am happy to say that I have successfully made it through Whole30 day 1! However, if today is any indication of how the rest of it is going to go, it is going to be very challenging… I had been in such a junk food rut for so long that I am having some serious cravings. Visions of cookies and cupcakes were dancing through my head all day, and I could have killed for a diet Pepsi! I just need to remind myself though that these are only temporary. They are going to get much worse before they get better, and I just need to get through them.
So here’s what I ate for day 1…
- Breakfast-Slow Cooker Cherry Apple Pork Loin from Once a Month Meals and a big bowl of frozen veggies with a little olive oil and some Mrs. Dash
- Lunch-A can of tuna in olive oil, drained, on a bed of romaine, drizzled with olive oil and vinegar and a bit of Mrs. Dash and a honeycrisp apple (the apple was on the side-not part of the salad… That would be gross. 😉 )
- Dinner-Stuffed Acorn Squash from Once a Month Meals. The squash took longer than anticipated to cook, so I’m satisfying my hunger with a handful of kalamata olives while I wait. 🙂
Finally, as any good fitness/health buff will tell you, nutrition is only one piece of the puzzle, so I’ve also been getting my butt in gear with morning workouts. A friend and I have been doing workout videos together in the mornings at work. This week we started the Blogilates beginner’s calendar. Our plan is to do a modified version of the calendar since I don’t have a good place to do the workouts on the weekends. We were supposed to start on Monday with day 1, but my workout buddy has been sick, and I had such an off morning, we decided to start today instead. She ended up being sick again, but I made myself go in and work out anyway, and man did I forget how challenging even her beginner workouts are! I have to stop halfway through all of the exercises to take a rest! It makes me feel even more out of shape than I am, but I guess the bright side of it is that I will get stronger, and the workouts will feel a lot easier. That’s what I’m hoping anyway!
I feel like a broken record sometimes. I know that I have tried numerous times to get myself back into gear. I’ve had one successful Whole30 and numerous failed ones. I’ve failed at diet after diet and exercise regimen after exercise regimen, but this time it’s different. I can feel that it’s different. I felt the snap inside me that said “enough!” Instead of going into this half-heartedly and hoping for the best, I made a concrete plan. I have goals in place, and all my stats are prominently displayed, along with my current “before” photos, on my wall where I will see them multiple times a day and be reminded of what I’m doing and why I’m doing it. This time, I know I will make some big changes that are going to last.