My 180

I mentioned in yesterday’s post that I was going to just continue my Whole30 until Thanksgiving, but I’ve really felt burnt out on it the last few days, so I made the conscious decision tonight to enjoy a “cheat meal.” I don’t like calling it a cheat meal because I don’t feel like I’m cheating. Some people call it a reward meal, some call it a cheat meal, but I’m just calling it a meal. I don’t like calling it a cheat because that implies that I’m doing something bad. I also don’t like calling it a reward because rewarding yourself with food doesn’t create a healthy psychology with food. If I’m going to adopt a clean lifestyle for the rest of my life, it has to be manageable, and to me that means occationally giving myself permission to eat things that don’t necessarily fall into the category of “clean.” The only caveat I have is that it has to be worth it, so I ate something I’ve been craving pretty much since day 1 of my Whole30… pizza! I ordered my favorite pizza from my favorite local pizza place, and it was amazing!

I ordered the personal size pizza which really has no right to be called a personal size pizza. It’s way too much for one person. That definitely didn’t stop me from eating the whole thing though… I always knew it was a trigger food for me or as the Whole30-ers say a “food with no brakes,” but I never really realized just how bad it was. I got about 5 slices in, and the pizza just didn’t taste as good. It registered in my mind that I was getting full, and the taste just wasn’t as good, but that didn’t stop me from continuing to eat it. I wanted to, and I knew I should, but I also really wanted to keep eating it. It was a really weird internal struggle.

I also had some caramel apple pie gelato, and it was the same as with the pizza. I bought the pint size container, and I planned to only eat a cup of it, but once I started, I just didn’t want to stop. I got to the point where I was getting uncomfortably full. I even portioned it out, but I kept going back for more. It’s definitely an indicator that I can’t keep my trigger foods in the house. If I know they’re there, my mind dwells on it until I eat it. Even though I’m really uncomfortably full, and I wish I wouldn’t have eaten all of it, I don’t regret it one bit. It was what I wanted most, I made the conscious decision to eat it, and I savored every bite. πŸ™‚

I also mentioned yesterday that I had an appointment with a personal trainer today. I was really nervous about it all day today, but I told myself it was just an hour, and I was going. I went to the gym after work and started changing only to realize I had forgotten my sports bra! I stood there for a minute debating whether I should just work out in my regular bra, but since I’ve been losing, my regular bras have been fitting looser too. I decided to just go home, and I rescheduled my appointment for next Wednesday. I swear I didn’t do it on purpose, but I would be lying if I said I wasn’t a little relieved.

Finally, the good news for today… I stepped on the scale this morning. I wasn’t expecting much because I’ve been feeling so bloaty lately, but I was down 12 lbs! That’s about 3 lbs a week. πŸ™‚ Even though that’s a significant loss, I still feel a little disappointed with the way I feel. I’m happy for the loss, but I decided to do the Whole30 to be more healthy, and I don’t feel as healthy as I was hoping. Tomorrow I’m back to eating squeaky clean until Thanksgiving, so hopefully I’ll get more of the benefits I was originally doing it for.



Whole30-Days 24-25

The last couple days have been kind of boring, so I don’t really have much to report. The good news is that my stomach is feeling mostly back to normal today! πŸ™‚Β It still looks a little more bloated than it was before the celery incident, but I feel so much better. I can actually eat things again without feeling discomfort, so yay for that!

Yesterday I hit the gym after work, and I nearly had a panic attack when I realized I left my jewelry in my locker at the gym! I had been putting it in my jeans pocket, but, irony of ironies, I was worried I’d lose it! I called the gym as soon as I realized it was gone, and my heart sank when they said they couldn’t find it. She took down my name and number and said she’d call me if anyone turned anything in though. I just felt sick. It’s not very valuable jewelry by any means, but it’s sentimental and unique. I was just thinking about how I’d never be able to cost effectively replace it because it is so unique when she called me back and said someone had turned it in! I was so relieved! I got it back after hitting the gym again tonight, and I feel so much better.

Speaking of hitting the gym… I signed up for a free personal training session for next Wednesday! I work out at Planet Fitness, so it’s not really one on one training, but I do get to sit down with the trainer and talk about what I’m hoping to get out of it, and he’s going to give me some exercises I can do. So I guess I have to think about what my goals are now… Really I just want to tone up everywhere. I’m sure he can give me a total body routine to do.

Another fun thing I did today was attend a meditation techniques class at work. It was awesome! I’ve always been a fan of meditation and relaxation techniques to help calm and center your mind. We practiced a few different techniques in class, and when I was done, I felt so relaxed and ready to take on the rest of my day! The one technique that I was kind of bummed about was called Chocolate Meditation. He handed out Ghirardelli chocolate squares and told us to slowly unwrap the chocolate, study it, smell it, etc. Then he told us to take a bit and just hold it in our mouths to pick out the depths of the flavor; then slowly chew it letting it fill up your mouth. Then slowly swallow it feeling it go all the way to the stomach.

I, of course, could not participate with chocolate, so he told me to do it with water… somehow it just wasn’t quite the same. Haha. I don’t really feel like I missed out on anything though. I got the point of it, and there will always be chocolate later on if I really want some. I thought it was a great reminder though to just be in the moment and enjoy your food, whatever it is. I know I am usually doing 10 other things when I am eating, and when I get done, I don’t even really remember what it tasted like. I always say I love food, but do I really if I don’t take the time to enjoy it and experience all the depths of flavor and texture in my meals? Just something interesting to think about!

So what did I eat?

Wednesday, October 22-Day 24

Breakfast-Ham, Apple, & Sweet Potato Scramble, an apple, 8 oz Gingerberry kombucha

Lunch-Lazy Pot Roast with potatoes and carrots

Dinner-2 Larabars and some Raw Sesame “Cookies” over the course of about 4 hours. Shame on me for not eating a real meal, but I just wasn’t hungry after my workout. I had to make myself eat the Larabar.

Thursday, October 23-Day 25

Breakfast-An apple, 8 oz unsweetened black tea, Paleo Pumpkin Soup

Lunch-Sliced ham and a banana

Post Workout Snack-Larabar and 16 oz pineapple coconut water

Dinner-2 eggs and ham slice

One thing I learned in my meditation class is that thinking positively can really help improve your outlook on life. This is something that I try to do anyway, but he said one thing you can do is think of at least one thing every day that went well or that you are grateful for, so I am going to start adding that at the bottom of every blog post.

My proud moment for today was that I went for it at the gym. I’ve always been really timid and worried that people were going to judge me and the things I do. That my form was off or my exercises were silly, but today I said to hell with them. I brought along a list of exercises to do, went over and grabbed some free weights and did my exercises without worrying what others thought of me. So I am proud of myself for that!

I’d love to hear what some of your proud moments for the day were!